I am not saying Shane makes stuff up...
According to shane:
- I have never made any stories up... About Gerard
- Gerard has an Irish accent
- Gerard can put cheese-whiz in my hair and I won't care
- I know someone who worked for the CIA. Who is married to a foreign national.
- This person sat at the fake business front for the CIAs backup server.
- He knows someone who beat-off into a vat at a New Castle Plant in America.
- Shaneopedia was fun for an hour, but whatever I don't care.
- The first thing you need to know about geology is: Rocks are not just rocks (Shane approves this message)
- Shanes Favorite Song = https://www.youtube.com/embed/x47NYUbtYb0
- This one time at band camp...
- Every time I open up workbench every tab since the beginning of time opens up
- Wow, Alyssa does have strong hands.
- Answering machines say "leave a message after the beep" but since its text you have to say "*BEEP*"
- Shuddup
- I had a dream that I threw darts at John and he retaliated by squirting a bottle of Gatorade at me. Or something like that
- Me: Shane why are you so upset? Shane: I'm not upset. Me: Why are you slamming your keyboard and mouse and cussing? Shane: Everyone acts like I'm freaking out, I'm not even mad.
- This site is a pane in my neck
- I shattered my Metatarsal bone in my foot and walked on it for 3 days before my sister tricked me into going to the hospital. True story. Ask my sister and my friend Rob. We asked a Rob and he knew nothing about it.
- Josh: How much computers does it take to compute? Shane: That would be inception cause you wouldn't have enough computers to computer how many computers it would take to compute.
- Ray: OnLive (cloud gaming service) is going offline today. Shane: I thought of the idea of cloud gaming first back in 2008. Ray: OnLive when live in 2003...
- I like to use my phone with my left hand so that way I can do other stuff with my right hand.
- Oh no, not the face... please my money maker...
- I was just going to stand up and say... you may go about your business
- I try to think but then some random ass words come out and it goes on shaneopedia
- What does the shane say? Derp... Derp Derp
- That made me jealous, Chris. What you just did sounded like it felt good.
- *shane-smash* *shane-smash* *shane-smash* Stupid PhpStorm!!
- "Somewhere in my head there is a recursive loop and a syntax error"
- "I blame Obama"
- That's what I am just a super smash brother and you guys just don't get it
- Gerard: Why are you going to the bathroom with 2 cupcakes? Shane: It's not American Pie, it's American Cupcake!!
- What's worse? Two cupcakes and one Shane or two Shanes and one cupcake?
- Used to talk in different accents all day every day
- Shane is known to tell children he has a Leprechaun in his pocket and asks if they want to see it
- Shane's brother once gave a random girl the crazy eye = https://youtu.be/1XymRYFoDPU?t=27
- "Everyone thinks I am retarded and don't know how to computer"
- In the parking lot of the wild wild west casino. After drinking a fifth of jack Daniels. He was pulled over by the police. He walked the line. Said alphabet backwards. while touching his nose. At he time his girlfriend was watching andÊ being hit on as a hooker. The officer was forced to let him go because his breathalyzer was broken.
- Charges $20 to touch old ladies. With his magic hands.
- One can ride a bicycle from San Bernardino to Disneyland in 20 minutes tops
- You must be from Idaho if you finish your potatoes before finishing your burger.
- To explain why he received a pen to sign his check, the bartender whispered to my ear "yeah you can use my pen" followed by a wink.
- Shane has a friend who said "Most Lions fans are also Cubs fans because Detroit does not have a good Baseball team"
- I am the worst gay man
- He was once attacked by a hobo with a shank after having a car wash. When the hobo was asked why, he said the car was too shinny.
- If you're white and in the ghetto, you're a target
- Knows a guy that was bit...... by his burger
- Shane loves to play with John
- Shane smash internet :(
- When you stab someone in the head, make sure you have a knife with a beaver tail so your fingers don't slip.
- Was once asked if he was coming out to which he replied, "I already came out". Came out of what is still TBD.
- "Bet I can make you squeal like a pig" -Shane https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gLN3QoN-q8
- While in Target, was once chased by 3 black guys holding their pants up.
- Had a gun pointed to his head while walking home from school
- "I'd love to stay and drill you but, I have business to take care of"
- If I had that much money I probably wouldn't have that much money.
- If you had a football team it would be called the ArdieManiacs.
- Godiva chocolate is pronounced GO-DIVA followed by 3 snaps
- Who are you gonna trust shaneopdia.com or the mayo clinic? I don't know I like mayo
- Sometimes being weird is a blessing sometimes being weird is a curse.
- Corrects people on the street for misspelling "Coupin"
- I have to bitch to everybody because when I bitch everybody hears
- To keep its purity I have to not touch it.
- Teach a man to fish and be weary of fishes in awkward places for vengeance
- If I were spam I would sue email companies for calling their junk mail spam
- Whenever a label shows that it's spicy, 19 out of 20 times it's not
- Shane was once locked in a box by his sister for 3 hours while she left the house
- The value of a new cell phone drops down to 400% after just one year
- Gets his Chinese Ramen from Mexico.
- There is a dead guy living in his mouth
- Fast and Furious franchise gets cheesier and cheesier. It's like aged cheddar.
Shane Facts
- If you hang upside-down for more than 8 minutes you will die. Shane currently disputes having made this statement although multiple sources have reported it. http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/09/20/man-dies-hanging-upside-down-at-utah-park/
- The amount of green house gasses has increased by like 8% or 12% or something like that just due to cow farts because we farm cattle.
When asked as to the authenticity of this statement he replied "I am in the middle of a release"
- I never said that.
- He knows terrorists in Israeli(occasionally told as Pakistani) prison camps. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Camp_1391
- Taco Y Taco's Al Pastor is not the best. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al_pastor
- You know 99% of Tennis elbow doesn't come from tennis
- That is 100% true.
- Hippos kill more people every year than sharks. If you go up to one in a watering hole they will rush at you at 88 mph.
[1]
- Please click on the following link to get a graph of Shane's ability to tell the truth Shane-Lie-O-Meter
- Technically your flying until you hit the ground.
- Using hand sanitizer kills the good bacteria in your hand as well as the bad, causing your body to ingest 800% as much BPA as a person who did not use hand sanitizer (when touching plastic)
- Napoleon complex is responsible for 25% of all corvette sales. The remaining 75% are from mid-life crisis.
- Shane's Superpower is "LOUD" and weakness is arrogance.
- Shane quotes Shaneopedia... Shaneception
- Was born with golden blonde hair
- All beef patty means all the meat in the patty is beef. It does not mean the patty is all meat.
- "It works on My Box"
- Fast and Easy but not Cheap
- There are several times where something happened and it was my fault
- The #1 skill set on my resume is "Proficient in smashing".
- "Smashing aint easy".
- The more motorcycle accidents you get in the less of a liability you are and the more your insurance rates goes down.
Please Note:
- Shane is not a Geologist
- Shane is not a computer
- Shane's mother 's movie. and thats how his mom go the nickname 'Howie'
- Bob Dole did not create the internet
- All Chihuahuas are jerks
- The #1 cause for migraines is dehydration.
- Sometimes the lack of thought produces I don't know
- Shane is part Irish so his blood is green, according to him
- Shane did 350 sit-ups a day when he was 7. (and 0 push-ups per day)
- At 16 Shane ate a box of cereal a day
- Shane's Dad said "Your getting the carpet wet. Thats Gross!"
Shane Smash
Other Shane-aties
- Shane may have worked at walmart in another life [2]
- Royal Decree
- are you saying that I have been nicer since working with Matt?
am i....becoming Canadian?
- We need to hire a Shaneographer
- Thats like comparing apples to parking lots
- inShane in the membrane... inShane in the brain
Shane's lost brother
NSFW
- One time, Shane got drunk with a friend and dared him to put a pompom in his ass cheek and run around the apartment building. Shane is also the Keg Stand King.
- takes his kids to play in parks where people poop on the slide.
Shane Jr
I did not realize that I was humming
A hamster cage startled to the center of a boat.
It's amazing how often I can't find things that are physically on my body!
Have you heard this from anyone that doesn't want you to not leave
I am not sure what any of those words mean anymore.
I wonder if they meant Behat like "Be a hat" or if they meant to "Be Behatted"
I just went deaf in my left ear
Yeah, I didn't tell you I'm Pregnant
It's my animal magnetism
I'm not sure if kidneys experience emotion. I'm not an astro-biologist, but I don't think they do.
There are worse things to be than coo coo I guess
Maybe thats just my brain.
You got hit with the ban hammer
I have been electrocuting myself a lot!
Too much agent orange in the air
The ghost that never lies
Prefers not to be poked in the butt in the back of an RV
When poked in the butt, he prefers not to be moved
Maintains a list of things not to do in a gas station:
- Remove pants
- Eat food prepared there
I don't think I'm insane, but I guess that is what an insane person would say
Did you try cycling the power to the whole city?
Napkins turn to marijuana when you wipe things on them